After reading that article about cutting out milk from thy diet in order to stop farting unnecessarily, you know because of all that lactose intolerance stuff, I decided to eliminate milk completely.
On a sidenote, a few years ago, a certain white man who used to be very close to me had told me that black people are more intolerant to milk than white folk and I in a most savage ignorant way told him off. How dared he think that white people were superior and could digest white milk? Did he know where I could get black milk so that I as a black woman would digest the black milk easier and leave him to drink all the white milk in the house… Don’t get me started lol the poor guy almost cried… But it is a fact that black people are more intolerant to cow milk. I did read up about it at the time, but couldn’t bring myself to apologize for the lashing I had given out…
Anyway that was a long time ago. Upon hearing the same information from a black brother, I decided it was time to experiment. Cut out milk completely from my diet.
Easier said than done… Everything has milk in it. From the cheese for my burgers, the pizza, and even the yogurt which I religiously take thrice a week in order to maintain the yeast levels or is it the PH balance in my ginene… Being a woman is not easy. I also take lots of pineapples and watermelons to give it a particular taste that man enjoys… You may salivate away at this point 😀😀😀
Anyway, I was talking about my new milk free diet. I started yesterday. Breakfast was a nightmare. Normally I take cereal, drowned in a bowlful of milk. Then I go back to bed. Then at some point I get up and make a frothy cup of cocoa with lots of milk. Yesterday I drank water for my breakfast. I was moody like a pregnant woman. As I stared at the milk in the fridge, milk is fairly inexpensive and we always have a lot of it, I wanted to collapse. But I managed the whole day. No milk. I didn’t even have my nightcap which is always more chocolate milk.
Day two, today…
Knowing I wasn’t going to be able to take cereal, I woke Tiffany up early so we could make pancakes together. It was a rare moment of bonding. We spent twenty minutes cooking and cleaning up the kitchen and talking about life.
Then I took some cucumbers and made a quick smoothie. Which I gulped down in the most unladylike fashion. I am feeling so healthy already. 😀😁
Like seriously, I haven’t found myself holding in a fart while in polite company, hoping that it won’t unleash itself until I get to the bathroom. I feel cleaner somehow.
Perhaps it’s all psychological at this point since it’s merely the second day, but honestly, I do feel healthy and clean.
Next to go, the SODAS…
I am drinking my last soda for a while, tomorrow. Life is no fun if one cuts out all the fun foods right? I have not touched alcohol for a month now.
I do know I shall sip some chardonnay on the 23rd of this month…
Are you on any diet? How’s it working out for you?
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